Bullet With Butterfly Wings
by jimmySLOTH
Summary: This is a Takoukou songfic to the Smashing Pumpkin's "Bullet With Butterfly Wings"... definate Yaoi. R&R please!


Bullet With Butterfly Wings  
  
~jimmySLOTH  
  
Disclaimer: The prefix "dis" insinuates the word "not" or "no". So, the word "disclaimer" insinuates that I am not claiming the Digimon characters you are about to read about or the song "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" by the Smashing Pumpkins. So there you go. I have disclaimed. Now you can't sue me!  
  
(The world is a vampire, sent to drain)  
  
Kimura Kouichi stared about his room, laughing at the few worldly possessions he owned. He laughed because of them, and he laughed in spite of them. Never the less, he laughed bitterly as he clutched his knees closer to his chest.  
  
Kouichi suddenly released his knees and crawled over to his bureau. He grasped his very favorite music box, which played "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star". a birthday gift from Kouji. It was a beautiful porcelain box- swiftly Kouichi slammed it against the wall, and watched it shatter shamelessly. He laughed bitterly and returned to sitting on the floor with his knees clutched to his chest.  
  
(Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames)  
  
Kouichi sat remembering the time he finally told his mother about his love for Kouji, because he did love him, and he always would, too.  
  
/"But Kouichi. he's your twin for crying out loud!" his mother yelled/  
  
/"Mom. I know. and I can't help it."/  
  
/"Yes you can! You're such a bad person! That's incest, and I will not stand for it in this house, young man!" she shouted/  
  
/"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" Kouichi roared/  
  
/"Yes I do, and it is FORBIDDEN!"/  
  
Kouichi laughed harder. "Well, you got your wish, mom. I'm incest free! I've never kissed Kouji or held him or had the chance to love him. not that I wouldn't have jumped at the chance. but Takuya's his lover, and he doesn't need me, so you win mom. You win."  
  
(And what do I get, for my pain?)  
  
Minamoto Kouji and Kanbaru Takuya were sitting on Takuya's bed in the Kanbaru residence. The boys were watching "Titanic", although Takuya couldn't understand most of it, even with Kouji's explanations (although he suspected that Kouji had no clue as to what he was talking about). After all, he had failed English. Plus, the movie was boring.  
  
"So, um. why are we watching this movie?" Takuya wondered.  
  
Kouji grinned at him. "I have no clue. Why don't we do something else. want to go for a walk?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm getting kinda bored." Takuya stood up. Kouji nodded and the two headed out the door. But Minamoto Kouji couldn't help but feel like something just wasn't right.  
  
(Betrayed desires, and a peace of the game)  
  
Kouichi hummed to himself while destroying everything Kouji had ever given him. except for his bandanna, which Kouichi kept. Kouichi took off his black tee shirt and tied the bandanna around his forearm. Then he ran downstairs to his mother's desk.  
  
Pulling out a few clean sheets of paper, he began a very detailed letter to his family. By the time he was done, he had written one full front and back page to Kouji, one to all 3 of his parents, and an extra note that was three sentences, which was for Takuya.  
  
Finally, Kouichi put each note into it's own envelope and set each envelope up on the living room couch, in a little line. He pricked his finger with a pin and put a drop of his blood on every envelope.  
  
(Even though I know- I suppose I'll show)  
  
Kouji was walking with Takuya when he knew something was definitely wrong. He knew that whatever it was, it was serious. And he knew that it was Kouichi who was in trouble. "Takuya. Takuya, wait. Kouichi's in trouble. We've got to go. Now."  
  
Takuya stared at him. ".are you sure?"  
  
Kouji nodded. "I can feel it."  
  
".what if nothing's wrong?" Takuya replied.  
  
"And what if something is wrong?" Kouji grabbed Takuya's hand and ran.  
  
(All my cool and cold-like old job)  
  
Kouichi skipped up to his mother's room. He found her safe box, opened it, and pulled out her small, sleek handgun. "Let's play a little game!" he giggled. He closed his eyes and popped one bullet into the barrel randomly, not knowing which slot it was in. Kouichi dashed to his own bedroom and put the gun down on his bed. Kouichi giggled again and picked up his cell phone. He speed dialed Kouji.  
  
"Kouichi! Are you okay?" His twin sounded worried.  
  
Kouichi giggled. "I'm playing a game! I really want you to be here when I play! Come over to mom's house! Quickly! I don't want to wait!" He hung up, then closed and locked his bedroom door.  
  
(Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage)  
  
(Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved)  
  
(Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage)  
  
"KOUICHI! DON'T HANG UP!" Kouji yelled desperately.  
  
". is he okay?" Takuya asked.  
  
Kouji grabbed Takuya's hand and the two ran all the way to Kouji's mother's house. Kouji immediately burst in. He saw the notes, and picked his up. "Kouichi? What is this?"  
  
He heard distant giggling and the faint sound of Kouichi yelling to him, "READ IT!"  
  
Kouji opened the letter and read as fast as he possibly could. He couldn't believe his eyes. Kouichi loves him? On a more intimate level? Kouichi cared for him as more than just a twin brother? "KOUICHI! STOP THESE GAMES!"  
  
.more giggling.  
  
Takuya gave Kouji a look. "What does mine mean? Live and let live? I cannot be saved? Love him?"  
  
(Now I'm naked, nothing but an animal)  
  
Kouichi waited up in his room, sitting on his bed, waiting for Kouji to come upstairs. Surely enough, Kouji came and knocked on his door. "Kouichi! What are you doing?" "A game, dear brother. Oh, such a fun game it is!" Kouichi laughed bitterly. "I used to love games."  
  
(But can you fake it, for just one more show)  
  
Kouichi heard Kouji yell, "THIS IS NOT FUN AND GAMES! What are you doing?" Kouichi cocked the gun and placed it next to his head. "A game. A fun game. See, I sing 'Ring around the Rosie' until I can't anymore!"  
  
(And what do you want, I want to change)  
  
"Kouichi! This isn't funny! Do you have a knife or blade in there? What are you doing? Don't do it, Kouichi!" Kouji yelled.  
  
Kouichi burst out laughing. "Not a blade, no. But mom's little handgun, yes. And I'm telling you, this is a really fun game. I used to like games so much, Kouji. and then I gave them up. But this game, I really want to play."  
  
(And what have you got, when you feel the same)  
  
Tears were streaming down Kouji's face. "No, Kouichi. This game isn't fun. It isn't. Listen to me!"  
  
"NO KOUJI! You listen to ME! A game that isn't fun is the "I don't like Kouji" game! But it was never true. It was a game, a silly little game, a childish game that I refuse to play anymore. So I'm ending it all with this game. And I plan on winning."  
  
(Even though I know- I suppose I'll show)  
  
Kouichi heard, "Don't do this to me Kouichi!"  
  
"Get over yourself, Kouji. I'm not doing this to or for you. I'm doing it for me. This is my game and I plan on winning! I WILL WIN! I MUST WIN!"  
  
(All my cool and cold-like old job)  
  
Kouichi heard and felt Kouji trying to break down his door with his fists. "NO! You can't!"  
  
"Ring around the rosie." Kouichi pulled the trigger and laughed. "A pocket full of posies." Once again, Kouichi pulled the trigger and once again, nothing happened.  
  
Kouji was sobbing. "No, no, no! You can't!"  
  
Kouichi laughed bitterly. "Oh can't I?" Kouichi heard Takuya's voice and felt the two making the door begin to break. "ASHES, ASHES!" Kouichi screamed. He pulled the trigger.  
  
(Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage)  
  
(Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved)  
  
(Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage)  
  
Kouji heard the gun fire and knew it was all over. "No!" he shrieked. "HE CAN'T BE GONE!" Kouji and Takuya gave one final push. The door broke and the two toppled into the room. They stared at Kouichi's motionless body until Kouji finally went over to it and held it in his arms, soaking his clothing in blood. "No, Kouichi. why? Why didn't you ever tell me? Why did you wait until now?"  
  
Kouji kissed Kouichi's cold lips softly. "I love you, too." Then he released his brother and picked up the gun.  
  
"What are you doing?" Takuya demanded.  
  
Kouji glared at him and ran into his mother's room. He filled the barrel with bullets. He ran back to Kouichi's room.  
  
(Tell me I'm the only one)  
  
(Tell me there's no other one)  
  
(Jesus was an only son)  
  
Kouji looked at Takuya angrily. "This is all your fault. I loved him! You told me it was wrong, you convinced me he didn't love me back, and that he would never talk to me or look at me the same way ever again if I told him! But I knew he loved me back! I knew we were meant to be more than just twin brothers! And now he's gone!" Kouji yelled.  
  
"Kouji. I was just trying to protect you!" Takuya shouted.  
  
Kouji stared into his eyes and shoved the gun into his hand. "You will take this and shoot me. Now."  
  
Takuya's eyes grew large. "No! I couldn't! You're acting crazy!"  
  
"NO I'M NOT! If you love me at all, you will shoot me." Kouji's eyes leaked tears. He sat down with Kouichi in his arms. Kissing the dead boy's lips one final time, he yelled, "NOW TAKUYA!"  
  
Takuya's hands shook. He cocked the gun. "But. no. no, I."  
  
"SHOOT ME NOW!"  
  
Takuya began to cry. "I love you," he whispered, before aiming for Kouji's forehead and firing the gun. He turned away before the bullet hit.  
  
(Tell me I'm the chosen one)  
  
(Jesus was an only son for you)  
  
When Takuya finally dared to look at Kouji, he saw the twin's bodies, holding each other, and utterly lifeless. Somehow, Takuya felt a push on his back, towards the twins. Takuya kneeled next to Kouji. He didn't know what to say, or what to do.  
  
He remembered the gun in his hand. He kissed Kouji's cheek and put the gun next to his head. He squeezed Kouji's hand in his own. "Goodbye," he whispered, before pulling the trigger.  
  
(Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage)  
  
(And I still believe that I cannot be saved) 


End file.
